


Diluted

by sullivan



Category: Death Spells (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:29:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullivan/pseuds/sullivan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My love and my hate for you are infinite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diluted

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like I need to give credits to Frank Iero. I don't want him to sue me. So well yeah, half of the credits go to him!
> 
> Just ignore the mention of Gerard and it's a cool version of diluted i have no idea what this is to be honest. But I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it!

We have survived this life so far, but how far have we really come? I'm thinking about all the things we've done, all the things we've been through together. It always seemed like a long amount of time that we've spent with each other, but now I look back, and the only thing I see is a lot of time that had been wasted for nothing. We mocked ourselves by saying we've come so far. But there is no going back now.

What stops us from finally feeling complete? I don't know what is absent, except you. I don't know how to feel full. Finished. I don't know what to do to achieve my final point, I'm thinking about other ways than ending my life, because ending myself doesn’t mean being finished. There must be things I haven’t done yet. There always is.

Since you’re gone, the time that I've taken to myself has left me with the feeling that I may just be fine all alone. Maybe I don’t need a purpose anymore, maybe I am complete, maybe there is nothing to do now. Then why do I still stay? What’s the purpose of not having a purpose?

The leaves once green, now a fiery red, crack long before as we make our way past the rotten pillars of our past discretions. We aren’t so far, but at the same time, we’ve come too far to give up where we are. But then again, I feel like I’m waiting for something that is never going to happen. You’re gone, and it’s not we anymore. It’s just me. How could you do that to us, Gerard? How could you leave without being complete? How could you leave without me? What happened to our promises?

I need this to be over. I know that now. No purpose, no you. No nothing.

As I’m staring at your messy dark hair, pale face and your livid neck, holding on to cold hands and sunken eyes hasn't had the same charms it once did. There is something incomplete.

My purpose on Earth is gone. My life on Earth has no meaning anymore. I am fast approaching my rebirth.

No more childish dreams, no more adolescent desires. No more you.

No more breath of fresh air.

This is my last hour. After an hour, some strangers will break in and search for us. They will come here to send us to that shit hole again. Because of the innocents we killed, because of the innocents we tortured. The souls we have taken. The bodies we burnt. They will find our corpses, and a note near us: Leave me to my work, I am not like all the others.

And they will find another note near you. A note for you.

My love and my hate for you are infinite.

I’ve seen so many, but you are the most evil man I’ve ever seen and killed. Now since you’re gone, now since I killed the most evil man on Earth, I guess I am the worst now. And believe it or not, I have an itchy feeling inside me. A feeling I’ve never felt before. Fear. I’m not afraid of the police, no, I’m afraid I’ll be gone with this fear of guilt. May I walk through this hideous world without fear of regret.

I shall consume the hate that consumes me, or my hate for you and me will kill me before I get the chance. Just like it killed you. I am not like you. You did this to yourself.

Let me wash away my pain and mistrust in the tears of those fortunate enough to get in my way.

I’m afraid of myself. I’m afraid of my growing arrogance. I shall cut off the hand and the wrist of the fear I that call my master. And I shall set fire to this ruin one last time.

Now you’re gone, none can be better, none can be stronger. Not even me. And no one will hold judgement over my head, for I am a beacon, a forest fire.

When the tired yards set ablaze, I’ll be the smoldering ember in the darkness that surrounds us all.

This is my final point.

This is my passion.

This is my calling.

This is my prison.

This is me.

My love and my hate for you are infinite.


End file.
